my nostalgia intertwined with amy's death

woke up nostalgically inclined
kind of reminiscing about the previous life!
cause it all seemed a lifetime away
browsed over old mails unintentionally,,stumbled onto them
what love proses i spilled on you
amy winehouse is dead and 27
and we the educated pay no heed to myths
i just spread my arms and make a face
till the sun comes down i've got a fight to carry
on these slender shoulders i'm laden
i'm so tasked i can't afford a grimace even
just a regular herd making my turns and hoping for a miracle
what drives me nuts is that
......even with all these studies we cannot fathom life itself
emotions rule
melancholy overpowers
sullenness attracts
and being waif is like a check-out ticket for the great gig in the sky
i wish i was there there in the moment
in all it's cosmic supernova
amy with smack throbbing in her veins
and making a mockery of her rehab ditty
i bet there'd be applause to the laughter and bubbly clinks

abyss

this loneliness has crept up in me
it's stealth has blanketed me
it's like i've been drawn to this the whole time
my head bowed alert to whispers
my lush my effervescence my triumph,,alas!
just yesterday i was swanning smacked to my brim with my chums
incoherently i was sinking yet again
john is evil
bobby is insidious
and i am crass when i'm sauced
a dim wit on powder
car crash pilot
a fool who thinks he's masterminding an utopia
i try to breeze by socials plugging euphemisms
and sat here i'm so unimpressed
give me my 90's i'll set it right
a hindsight, a panacea, i lack