music kamikaze

i just yawned
i have watery eyes now
i've got long legs
i carry a timid heart
my eyesight's brilliant
you've left me here completely smitten
fuck my last drink
if i had my way i'd blast a grenade amidst this laughter
kill all my five friends
my top hats way too tiny
i wish i was a runt
i don't have appetite today
but water i'll surely and duly drink
i just got a long distance call
fucker made me hate myself even more
skiing on the alps huh?
i only have music
and i'm a music kamikaze
fly with deviant intentions all day
one day the load i carry
one day
.........i won't go alone

no not love,son

did you know kid?
he hung himself
not quite a celebrity death
somehow qualifies don't it?
i mean it sounds fun
here's the best part
he started taking heroin at 13
when i was in college i let him hang with me cause he had a bike
it was easy to get around while making a score
but man he was always fucking broke
he called me big bro
and he would sing the darkness song i believe in a thing called love
fucking mean rendition pillion riding on the way to the dealer
but i need to clarify hea
he was into hip-hop
why did he hang himself?
maybe his brain had taken enough hits
maybe he was just more miserable than anyone else
maybe he was in an underdosed state of mind
but from what i heard
.......it was unrequited love

rough hands

fall is here
fall i will
hide i will
sensitivity ya'll
drama from the garage
bottling up my courage
histrionics eating up my reserves
avid conspiracy theory fan
lie in bed all day
watch the world go by on my lap-top
let the world turn;;i have yet to make my turn
lag behind
just watch till ya'll all tiny dots
no no no
i won't cap my eyelids
stay alive for you to show up
rain on my macabre parade enemy
pleasure is what i seek
how sensual you won't fathom
even in this sleep like consciousness
.....i feel more
........i want more
i'm excited where there's corrupt order
i'm a speedster on the highway
crash into divine people again again
nothing to figure
back to dust that's all
back to grinds
so just grind away

1

boy has run out of crusades
so go sit with the men
labour for wages and in the evenings
paste the sky with moonshine wonder
spew at mother
belt the wifey
lecture the faces
and slowly incoherently blanket the senses with sleep
need to put some distance on conscience
life is freaking hard for a drop out
the steadiness the security.....
they come at you with sharpened knifes
nodding away at life's dilemmas isn't it
can't be a mute
i just can't tame my personality
so this is a shout out;;;;i resign

because i feel like a criminal

leaving my youth on the couch
fleeing from this red bull mess
what you got on yer stereo?
i got darlings-debut cd
feeling so nostalgic,,o it's so quaint
it's not lost i know
it's still early i know
and i'm handsome you know
this is a 24*7 build up
i mean this has been on my mind
and yet i don't have a clue
bang bang bang
my shirt's unbuttoned and you have me startled
shit,,life's rough and i've been so tame
i don't wanna be a rockstar anymore
....no more of that gear
my head night-skywards
inhale pre-winter oxygen
my eyes shut
black nothingness is peaceful
and maybe a tear trop from the skies and stars on my cheek
reminding me that you're still watching over me
bless me tonight
..........30

we get our emotions from water

morning has broken
2 dead cockroaches
5 dead mosquitoes
casualties from my last night's napalm design in the air
now i'm awake,,ok
do i have a wake for them?
is it the ways of the generality?
woken up confused for sure
a lil steady,,nigh sluggish i find myself
the lights are calling me out to play
i just wanna sit hea for the rest of the day
fuck smiles fuck talks and fuck riddles
so i'll dance and sing to my mirror
i need my juice to get going
alone i'll captivate the imigination of my tv,cupboard,iphone,laptop,shoes,tape and the water running to fill my bucket
listen to phoenix man
i was wondering why i didn't cry last night
i was supposed to be in mourning
i just lost a friend
so i checked myself
and then it percolated from my senses to my opinions
i'm desiccated
today my aim will be to drink water

reveries

stationary objects dwell me in
i point my finger
aim my eye-beams
permitted to mull right?
trapped in a daze like a foool!! willing to be a magnet
guess that's how i empty all my good juice
.....a pat on my back
......man!! has it been an hour already?
.......or we too early
grab back my dissipating wits
get movement back on track
sit quip sip
nod my head about with affirmation to yer queries
what a fine day i'm shuffling
flick my right eye 60 degrees
and there stretch all my tomorrows in perfect symmetrical circles
wish i knew what flicks 'em circles contain

my orbit

an old friend
a really old friend
he's got a face so crafted
yea i had a chat with him the other day
even my dementia addled self came about
synapses worked overtime and made me be
i guess it's good to reach out
take my hand and lead me to the junction
the place where they shelter oddities and rarities
these days i can't evoke bliss even with all 'em gears
doesn't last....
my volatile traits come about and squander my personality
i need direction baby
mentor my whimsical flights
poignant seconds like these are so fleeting
i wish i could cusp 'em and i could glow
i'm much too vague
i need order

A-L-O-N-E

remember how we had so much fun
remember how we aimed our guns
december i'll see you again
try decipher me again
you'll never get me
i'm stranded hea with yer folly
train and be a fine specimen
the future has been here 4 ever
and i'm still naive and dim with fire in my belly
change my clothes
smirk at yer token gestures
be friendly with the pharmacist
hey man that's all i am
and that's all i care to be
i've got aches that stretch back a decade
i've been picking myself up
and been dusting myself all too frequently
put you in place of.....
now i'm off on my trail

lick this

not particularly choosy
i don't sift all that much
but after all these time
i don't want you as a friend
i don't believe in you as a person
what have you done??
that's my parting lament
travel well
leave you to yours
and i'm off on mine
pilgrim on a sojourn
getting a philosophical fix
and i continue again.
what a state of mind
grandeur embellishments
this has got to be epic
.....here i am again
.....my manic ego
how can i be so faulty
my smatterings are deceiving
they weigh me down
i need to shake 'em off
so the trail bhoy
the trail only
it's fun
it'll be fun
it's got to be fun
now i am my own